A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
Whats Jokes
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.