Whats jokes
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
Quiz: Turn what for what?
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."