If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Whats Jokes
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
What did the boyfriend say to his girlfriend?
What did the mom say to the baby?
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?