Whats jokes
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
F1, F2, F3, do you know what’s after F3?
- F4, F U, then last F U Q.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."