What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
Whats Jokes
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
