Walk Jokes

A dislexic man walks into a bra

*Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman*

What would you rate this woman?

A 7

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an austistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss Cheese?"

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing The beer bottle says: if you break me you get one year of bad luck The mirror scoffs: oh, that's nothing, you break me and you get 7 years of bad luck. The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

Confucius says, man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok.

I was walking this hot girl home then she noticed me then the walk turned into a run

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie. I responded "yes" and he said: "okay, 14159"

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”

A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said "you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills." *he hands her a pen* He said "sell me this pen" She puts in between her boobs.

A man sees a small boy begging for money He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks "what gave me away?"

The man responds "your parents"

An old lady walks into an adoption centre and the lady that runs the business says “Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!”

3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”

The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”

“Hot water?”

“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”

Why was the stair case so sad? Because every one walks on them.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"

An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes. So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady. Like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance