I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive yyyy is the difference between a good
What is the difference between a human and a house 🏡? A human can walk and a house 🏡 can not walk
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
It's funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can't do any of those things
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?" The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore."
I was gonna walk up to a emo and say do you get jealous when your phone dies
my mom walks in a bar and the bartender said water saying we only sell beer
guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I'm a man guy:you meet a girl person: I'm a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel\ person: I'm a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I'm a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I'm a man
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You guys should know your limits."
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says who the fucks be fucking my wife the room goes silent, the guy in the back finishes his beer and says you ain't got enough bullets.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport???
•terminal
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up. The grandmother says: Hey, jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad! Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks jantje to help her stand up. Jantje anwsers: No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad.
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers?
Brother; because their beautiful!
Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't.
Brother:......
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey's F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN'T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH PORN DON'T YOU??!!!!!!
