Walk jokes

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.

When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

A man walked into a bar...

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

A seal walks into a club.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

How do homeless people move where they're living?

They pick up their box and walk away.

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"