How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
So there was school shooting in Florida why didn't the shooter just go to Disney.......sorry i just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
If I called you gay you would probably hit me with your purse
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
