Se this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I be the first person to say drinks are on me
What's common in vampires and American kids ?
They both don't get old .
Why do vampires Are always sick because they are coffin
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?....... Frostbite.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test
me: *stabs vampire*
wife: omg
me: *beats vampire to death*
wife: OMG
me: what
wife: ur supposed to give them candy
me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption? He thought his son sucked.
A Vampire goes to the Bakery:
Vampire🧛♂️: „One Bun please.“
Bäcker👩🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“
Vampir🧛♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“
Mommy mommy! Are we Vampires? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
Why do Vampires like virgins? Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
what's a vampires favourite fruit? a neck-tarine
