Vampires jokes
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?
"When is your next blood period?"
Spooktober meme!!!
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?
"I will be back next month."
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.