Vampires jokes
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Spooktober meme!!!
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?
"When is your next blood period?"
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)