Value jokes
If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...
Have a nice day! 馃檪馃槉
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you鈥檙e inside of them.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
What鈥檚 the difference between chocolate and people?
You can鈥檛 buy people nowadays.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for 拢2 so she could get a male stripper.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
What does e equal?
I don鈥檛 know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.