Usualness jokes

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.

Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven

Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere

Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.

What's the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.

Where are virgins usually born?

Virginia.

Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?

Except at a funeral.

The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.

They were plane as usual.

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"