Use jokes
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Q: How do you cover a Chinese's eyes?
A: Use dental floss.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."