Urban life jokes

What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?

A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!

So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.

I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)

What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

I always press the stop button to see you.

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

You live in the airport.

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.