Urban life jokes

So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.

I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)

What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?

A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

I always press the stop button to see you.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.