Ur jokes

You're adopted.

Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.

Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.

What is the definition of clapped?

Ur mum when I am in her bed.

I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...

Your face!

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Why don't you have a life?

Because you're ugly.

Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.

Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.

Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.

Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.

Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!

Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.

Son: That was cruel!

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.