Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Ur Jokes
Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...
Your face!
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
