Ur jokes

Bank robbery

  • Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

    Guy: Robin

    Bank owner: Your last name?

    Guy: Debank

    Bank owner: Robin Debank?

    Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

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    Bathroom

  • You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?

    You're-a-peein'. European.

    Friend

  • Friend: How dark is your humor?

    Me: .....it...

    Friend: No

    Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

    Friend: Why are you like this?

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    Dick pic

  • When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

    "Enjoy the little things."

    Blonde

  • What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

    You don't want your computer to go down on you.

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  • Nut

  • What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

    What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

    What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

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    Man

  • A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

    She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

    The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"