UN jokes
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Ça sent quoi un pète de clown? (Ça sent drôle!)
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.