Twin Jokes

A twin engine has two engines.

If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐

Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?

Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.

Twin: Not funny, dude.

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

Why were the Twin Towers sad?

They ordered Dominos and got Jets.

On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.

The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?

Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.

Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?

A: No, what happened?

Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!

The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.

Kid: “What happened to Dad?”

Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”

Famous last words.

Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”

Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

Who reads the fastest?

The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.

The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.

In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.