Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using microsoft paint
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
Yo mama so dumb she tried to put m&m’s in alphabetical order
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.
i tried to tell a orphan a knock knock joke but sadly there was no door to nock on
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
Yo mama so ugly when she tried to enter a ugly contest they said they didn't allow professionals.
Someone said to stop hurting myself but I'm still trying to cut me arms off
I Tried to give directions to a orphan but he got lost bc there was no home
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
Question- What happend to the depresses kid who tried to high 5 a tree? Answer- He was left hanging
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo, he tried high fiving a tree but it only left him hanging
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
Sign outside a hair salon: We'll color your hair or dye trying.
🧀:C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀:You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
This one kid i knew had down syndrome and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
