Doctor: I have good news and I have worse news Patient: Well what's the bad news Doctor: You have one day left to live Patient: What news could possibly be worse Doctor: I've been trying to contact you sense yesterday
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
whats the worst thing to say to an emo. if you don't succeed the first time try try try again
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band? "Juan Direction."
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex Oh were you talking to me I thought you only talked behind my back Hold still I am trying to imagine you with a personality
Ever tried etheopian food? No? Neither have they
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. -- But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy she wanted to protect herself from covid but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said "I will fuck you up", she said "try me", so that's exactly what I did and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf but then the shooter's phone goes off.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five
It left him hanging
i tried to high five my emo friend but he just left me hanging
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself! :0
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
MY mum once told me how do u spell mississippi and i said misisipi but she said no its goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i and i luaghed when she said pp,then she said why are you laughing i tried saying u said pp but i was laughing to hard
