Try jokes

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.