Try jokes

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.

Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?

Why?

Because it would be useless. :)

"What's the wifi password?"

"121i362"

"It's not working."

"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"

"The United Airline."

"We're in the World Trade Center, though."