Trip jokes
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!