Tree

Tree Jokes

Kid

What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"

Baby

What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.

What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.

Baby

What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

My dick while I'm doing it.

  • 0
  • Cause

    Question: Why can't you trust a tree?

    Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.

    Lumberjack

    I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

    They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

    Skeleton

    What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?

    Forest

    Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

    Baby

    What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?

    Log

    I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

    Baby

    What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?

    One baby stapled to five trees.

  • 0
  • People

    People are like trees...

    They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

    A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

  • 0
  • Rap

    Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?

    Wrapped around that tree.

  • 1
  • Monkey

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was dead.

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was also dead.

    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

    Monkey see, monkey do.

    Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was stapled to the first one.

  • 0
  • Baby

    What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

    One dead baby nailed to ten!

  • 0