Tree jokes
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
You pecan do it!
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.