Tree jokes
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
You pecan do it!
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?
I would leave them hanging.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.