One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
