So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes. Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Three friends were stuck in the desert they were struggling and trying to find food when. A they found a magical lamp the rubbed it and out came a genie and genie says "each of you friends get to have one wish" so the first friend said I wish to go home same as the second one the third friend said " I'm lonely I wish my friends were with me"
when my dad once went to the virgin islands now its just called the islands
daughter:where was i born Dad:Alabama daughter :that is nice mum:We have never been to Alabama Dad:RUN
(A scientist time travels into the year 2024) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked. "Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied. "Heard of what?" "Herd of cows." "Of course I've heard of cows." "No, a cow herd." "What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
guess how i got away from my mom saying i can't play fortnite, i took my stuff and I ran to Iran
How did Stephen Hawking die
He traveled to far from the outlet
How did I get to Iraq? I ran
Me: opens the window to get some fresh air Everyone else on the plane:😟...😱
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians? A Pre Visa!
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store?Silly daddy
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon) found my self at the same stop.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
