Tragedy jokes
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.