Tragedy jokes
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.
If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.