A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
Worst Jokes Ever
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
