Worst Jokes Ever
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
Who is the world's fastest reader?
The Twin Towers, they blew through 86 stories in 5 seconds.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.