Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.