Worst Jokes Ever
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Beans, your mum is fat!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
"Nihha scarborough face."
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!
He had the curse of vanishing.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"