Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?

An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.

Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

The end.

Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.

Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."

(Pause)

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."

"Jeff who?"

"Bezos."

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

Girl: Hi (flirt)

Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?

Because they don't have a family to go with.