Worst Jokes Ever
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
What did the builder say after the foundation?
"Employees!"
"Come on, take the camera!"
"Isn't it clear?"
"Well, look!"
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.