Worst Jokes Ever

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.

Pop in the toilet.

Guess whose parents didn't survive?

Liv's parents.

Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.

Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your eyebrows.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

What came before the dinosaurs?

Your hairline, because it's so far back!

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.

Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

CIA: Where's your head at?

JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?

Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.