Worst Jokes Ever

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.

How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To slide into your mom's bed.

What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.

Where can you find the most dads?

Milk Island.

Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.

Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

Chinmey?

Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the Super Bowl.

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?

Because there is a red Sun in the sky.

This is how I got [redacted]