Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!

Hey, what do you call a beta simp?

You call me the beta simp.

RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?

Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!

The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?

He ended with a Black Handed bang.

Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."

Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"

What do / and \ have in common?

They have different results.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!

I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.