Worst Jokes Ever
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
How did the orphan lose its parents?
Its parents never came back from getting milk.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Who needs parents to be great?
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
What are Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
I have friends.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Robyn Olive in 10.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.