Worst Jokes Ever
Kms.
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.
How did the orphan lose its parents?
Its parents never came back from getting milk.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?
Floor 44.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.