Worst Jokes Ever

Look at the bright side!

The worst is behind us.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Spider-Man: Homecoming."

Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...

Big pp suck sook.

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?

Christmas!

Do you know where Helen Keller lives?

Neither does she.

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

When did I wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

What do inner city schools and databases have in common?

Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.

What did the skeleton say to Shrek?

"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."

What is the smallest room in the world?

A mushroom.

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.

It's also why he has no eyes.

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.