Worst Jokes Ever
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
PP in the poo poo.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am gay, so are you.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.