Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alabama.
Alabama who?
Alabama your cousin.
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
Abdi and Tunde are real.
Hank, skamwkakkshsygauytqg.
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
My grandpa died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot.
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your mom is fat and so are you.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!