Worst Jokes Ever
Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Ligma.
Ligma balls.
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.
What do you call a Mexican who canāt find the bar?
Barlos.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."