Worst Jokes Ever
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Yo mama so ugly Donald Trump said "wrong!"
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.
Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why is six scared of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.