Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.

What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

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  • What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."

    Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?

    Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.

    According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

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  • A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.

    She told her, "Hey, long time no see."

    "I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."

    "Will that cure me?" the patient asks.

    "Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."