Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.