Worst Jokes Ever

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.

Why do planets circle the sun?

'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.

All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?

...Ollie the clown!

NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.

What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.

What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.

I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.

Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?

They both hit me face down on the table.

I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they will never get home.

Zozo laughed at his wife for her husband being a hobo.