Worst Jokes Ever
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
One more 360 noscope for my montage.
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I like orphan boys, no homo.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.