There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Titanic Jokes
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
People: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Challenge accepted.
Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.
People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.
God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?
Why did the Titanic sink? Because everyone played Simon Says!
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Did you know the Titanic sank in water?
Titanic 1, Africa 0.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.