Tie

Tie Jokes

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.

*A few minutes later*

son: There.

mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?

son: Dad showed me before he died.

mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*

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