Cold

dev

what can u catch but not throw? … . . . … … … … … . . … … … … Ook. a cold!

Cow

Anonymous

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow

A Holy Cow

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Fly

Did ya think it was good

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window he wanted to see time fly

Name

69

I named my dog stone so that i can say to people that i throw stone everyday.

Woman

WELL F...

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing then his friend calls and he is groaning he said he was having cramps so the husband tell the docter “doc turn it up to 40%” so he does and his friend throws up so he said “doc turn it up to 100%” and his friend dies

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Baby

Anonymous

how many babies does it take to paint a wall: it depends on how hard you throw them

Wife

Anonymous

An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back the old man wanted to do it with his wife the man set up everything needed a did the video I threw it back first then his wife bust instead of an old lady it was ashes

Depression

Valentina:)...

Throw a plate… It’s broken right?.. Say “sorry” to it… Did it fix back?.. No…that’s the Same thing you did to me:)

Baby

Anonymous

What’s even funnier than throwing a baby off a building? – Catching it with a pitchfork.

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JFK

Deeznuts

Are you a Bullet because you go straight throw my head

Gun

Jon

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude. When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks. “Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

Train

Michael Antonoff

You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”

Fast

Rony

Student asks teacher if I throw apple & noodles which 1 will fall 1st teacher replied I don’t know then student replied noodles will fall 1st because noodles r fast foods

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Name

Anonymous

how do Asians name their babies? They throw pots and pans around ‘Ching, Chang, Clang’

Woman

Anonymous

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says “Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink”. The bartender says “You can’t talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I’m going to throw you out!”. The drunk says “Okay, I’m sorry. I’d like to buy the lady a drink”. The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says “The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?”. She says “Vinegar and water”

Girl

Airplane classic

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here’s a good example…

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. “why are you running?” "My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he’s bleeding!" They three of them decide it’s best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, “What’s so funny?” “Grandma farted and the house blew up!”

Baby

Anonymous

What’s meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Sister

Anonymous

my sis said only garlic and onuings can make u cry

so i throw a orang at her

Priest

Anonymous

What happens when you throw an underaged boy between two catholic priests? They fight and… You know the rest.

2

Baby

Goalkeep2024

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.