Throw jokes

If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.

What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.

Who are the best at bowling?

Terrorists, they always throw strikes.

What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”

Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

A: Throw in some laundry.

If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???

How do you kill a little boy?

You throw him between two Catholic priests.

I saw some twins, so I threw a paper plane at them.

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

Why is the sun mad at the clouds?

The clouds keep throwing shade.

So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.