One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
