Throw jokes
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
Why did the child throw the butter out of the window?
So she could see a butterfly.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...
They were shaking in excitement!
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?