New Throat Jokes

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.

Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open. Woman aren't human anyways... lol

How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack? U shove them down his throat🤣😂

"my friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat and what happens next is really weird"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""the tongue gets stuck were his throat and starts to guh-gugh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever Again..:/

So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

Which way is quicker to die? Noose? or Slitting my throat?

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

I will like to thank my favourite President Barack Obama sorry Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden I mean Osama bin Laden sorry hummus in my throat

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

Are you a knife? Because I want to deep throat you

Yo Father. Don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anul plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass of. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance and he replied I'm not much good, I have two left feet. Then how about Karaoke ? To which he replied. I have two left throats.

Why is he called Stephen Hawking ? Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

My friend said they were going to make a come back I told them to do it at the back of the throat

my mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. i didnt know what she doing but she grab my cock and started sucking. then i found out on porn she was doing deep throat. a couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, i thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. i cried for 5 hours. luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

A book went to the doctors office and said:”doctor doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever😂😂

Nancy the throat goat!

Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. "After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families." This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio. "There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers". Some of the tribal members begin walking by displaying various implements of war and death. The first explorer chose a crusty looking musket. Thankfully the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss. The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat. Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen. The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought. After a few moments the chieftain, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..." "Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted? Baffled the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink. When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear. Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink. Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..." Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso nib first again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle. Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word. "But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked. Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"