Thought jokes

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)

You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.