Thought jokes

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.

I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!

Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!

Why did the blonde run outside naked?

She thought the steam was a gas leak.

Why did the kid go in the guy's van?

Answer: He thought he was being adopted.

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.

What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.

You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Yo mama so stupid, she made Patrick run away because he thought it was contagious! 🤣

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.